My dad has really only had one goal in his life, writes Cape {town} Etc’s Ashleigh Nefdt. It was evident in his lessons, lectures, the things he has said over all my brilliant years of being his best friend, and even in the things he didn’t say.
The goal? Happiness.
To make others happy and especially to make his family and his kid, happy. It seems so simple, but the older I get, the more I realise how special and rare it is to have someone whose day is only complete when he’s heard you say “that made me happy,” or to receive a goofy smiling selfie of joy. Not boats of money nor all the fame in the world could compare to the joy of bringing joy.
Happiness is his currency.
Happiness seems like such a big word. It comes in all sorts of shapes, sizes and colours. But to have someone strive for yours your entire life no matter the situation, makes me feel entirely blessed.
So, in honour of that, I’d like to share with all of you some lessons on happiness that Gregory, my dad, has taught me over the years.
1.”Butter chicken feeds the soul.”
My dad is an avid lover of butter chicken curry (admittedly the reason why it’s my go-to dish). But the lesson behind it goes beyond the delicious tomatoey flavour and the naan. It’s about simplicity. To live in the moment of just enjoying your favourite meal, and letting each bite be enough. When the world seems so big, we can miss the little things.
2.”I don’t care if you’re an astronaut or a street sweeper if that’s what brings you joy.”
This is a lesson on following your dreams, no matter how society may perceive them. It’s a lesson of happiness coming from being true to yourself.
3. “On your bad days, have a coca-cola and just do something you love.”
This lesson was that happiness can be found on your bad days, in the little things. This one was for the days when I was at my lowest, and my dad would quietly come bring me my favourite drink and something to do, whether it was watching a movie or painting. There may not be an immediate solution, he would express, but you might as well try paint your situation with some kind of joy.
4.”Always go for a long drive when you’re thinking too much.”
This lesson meant that happiness often comes from seeing more than just our corner of the world. We would often go for long drives, pointing out things we could see or laughing at road ragers (of which my dad is also one) and somehow life didn’t seem quite so concretely difficult. These drives often got me out of my head.
5.”Changing the world doesn’t have to be big Ash. Sometimes it’s just making one person’s day better. You never know whose life you’re touching through kindness.”
This one is probably my ultimate philosophy. On happiness, it taught me that so much of the yellow feeling comes from sharing it.
So Man-like Greg, I can say you’ve constantly shone warmth into my days, all the kinds of days. Thank you for everything.
Your daughter.
Picture: Supplied