The unwanted neighbour for some, the tragic companion for others, the thief for almost everyone. The ‘Big C’, COVID-19, is our common heartbreak. And on top of what it inflicts on our being, it also offers a tremendous paradox.

The paradoxical nature often comes in wanting to be there for someone who is suffering from the virus, but not being able to do so in so many of the ways we normally would.

As someone who has been on both sides of the equation I can confess that whichever side you may be on, the support seeker or the (wanting to be) support giver, there are common denominators: frustration and helplessness, writes Cape {town} Etc’s Ashleigh Nefdt.

Speaking from experience, here are some ways you can be there for a loved one suffering from COVID-19 when you can’t actually be there. These options apply to someone who is at home.

1.Order them some healthy groceries 

If someone has tested positive for Covid, the first thing the doctor tells them is that they need to isolate. Perhaps the positive result came as a surprise, and they didn’t have time to stock up. If they’re in a situation where they live alone, or the people they live with are also in isolation, one way you can show your love from a distance is the simple act of ordering some healthy groceries.

Most of our SA retailers offer online delivery options, the Checkers Sixty60 app for one is an amazing go-to. If you’re in the Mother City, there are some local grocery delivery services like GoHugos. Relieving the stress of food security in this sense will be a huge weight off their shoulders, trust me.

2.Get the Covid Care Pack delivered to them.

They definitely need some vitamins during this time, and luckily Dischem allows for deliveries under their Covid Essentials tab. Create your Care Pack with some Cal-C-Vita, a thermometer and MegaC. You can also add in extras like balloons and straws so that they can strengthen their lungs.

3.Make sure they have some meds. 

Beyond vitamins, they may need some other medications that they can no longer pop off to the pharmacy to get, or even a prescription from the doctor. If you’re able to get their prescription for them and leave it safely at their door, then that is an absolute must. Otherwise, try and organise with a pharmacy in their area to drop it off.

4.Daily check-ins, their style. 

It may seem pedantic, but as we know Covid is an unpredictable virus. Ask them how they’d prefer your check-ins (because you will be checking in). It could be a phone call, a text, a voice note or maybe a spontaneous FaceTime if that’s the relationship you two have. Just popping in to see how they are that day can make a huge difference between someone feeling alone, or supported.

The fun things 

5.Make them a playlist. 

Music heals the body and the mind. It’s a stressful time for everyone, and a Calm or vibey playlist could definitely go a long way whether it’s on Spotify or Apple Music.

6. Make them a must-watch list. 

If you’ve been trying to get them to watch some of the shows you love for what feels like years, now is the time to put all of those into a compact list.

7. Order them some comfy clothes or pajamas.  

There are so many local online stores that offer comfy clothes at their cheapest. Your human will be spending some time at home for a while, and chances are they’d probably like to do it in comfort. Something my mom always used to do for me when I was ill was buying me a pair of PJs, and it’s something I always appreciated.

8. Make a positive reminders album for them.

There are other kinds of positive that they need to be. Whether it’s a beautiful quote, a picture of the sunset, a gorgeous video, soulful TikTok or a piece of art, save or download them to put into a positive reminders album that you can share with them. It’s a kind way to say ‘this uplifted me, it might uplift you too!’ A little light really does go a long way.

9. Make a ‘Your Humour’ album too, if you know them like that.

They (whoever they are) have always said laughter is the best medicine. I’m not sure if it’s the best medicine ever because there are some strong contenders, but it definitely doesn’t hurt. Instead of just sending them a meme on the fly, save these to a collected album so they can enjoy them all in one go, when they need their laughter fix.

10. Just be present.

You know the person you’re worried about, so I encourage you to really take the time to connect with them. Isolation isn’t fantastic, and being stressed about having Covid isn’t either. Try and be extra thoughtful during this period. If they’re a pasta enthusiast, let them know a pasta order is on the way. If they’re more lowkey, tell them to phone you when they’re up to chatting. There are a million little ways to say ‘I’m thinking of you during this time,’ that aren’t on this list, but in your heart.

Picture: Instagram @karmanverdi/ ‘There are so many ghosts in my spot’ 

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